


Weeping Skies

by MyosotisScorpioides



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Character Death, Ciel's parents are alive, Diary/Journal, Drug Abuse, Human!Sebastian, Kidnapping, Kinda, Lima Syndrome, M/M, POV Ciel Phantomhive, POV First Person, SebaCiel - Freeform, Stockholm Syndrome, Teenage!Ciel, Violence, human!Claude
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-08-30 06:04:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8521315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyosotisScorpioides/pseuds/MyosotisScorpioides
Summary: If you would ask anyone they would simply call it Stockholm Syndrome, no matter how much Ciel denied it. To them it was just a coping mechanism of the teen, who went through such harrowing things. After a while even he gave up, there was simply no point in explaining his complex feelings to fools who didn't even want to understand the real him.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> In this fanfiction Ciel is 17 and Sebastian, along with Claude, are in their mid twenties.

**Weeping Skies**   

**_Prologue_**   

_2016.0_ _4_ _.26_   

_My family has always been rich. A_ _few hundred years back_ _the_ _members of my family had even been considered nobility. Though my_ _ancestors_ _weren't exactly popular in the high society –_ _they were even nicknamed_ 'evil nobelmen' _–_ _but they were powerful. Of course, since then a lot of things h_ _ave_ _h_ _appened. There were_ _numerous_ _accusations,_ _scandal_ _s, other_ _various_ _mishaps and during all that chaos my family had lost the title of nobles they were so_ _p_ _r_ _o_ _u_ _d_ _o_ _f_ _._ _S_ _to_ _ries like this usually end up with the whole_ _lineage_ _hitting_ _rock bottom_ _due to the bad_ _hab_ _its_ _of spending_ _enormous_ _sums of money, however they still had a lot of what my_ _grandfather_ _called_ 'blood money' _left._  

_On that_ _money our biggest current asset had been built – the_ _Funtom_ _Corporation. It's one of the biggest net value having corporations_ _in the whole world_ _, thus there are always people_ _around my family,_ _who_ _want_ _all that fortune for themselves_ _._ _Because of the money_ _,_ _we had_ _dealt with numerous blackmails, attempts at_ _assault_ _and robbery,_ _of which most_ _were_ _unsuccessful_ _. Even though I had all the_ _knowledge_ _and_ _experience_ _required to understand that humans' greed is_ _endless_ _,_ _I had never expected to get kidnapped. After all, there wasn't a single corner of the house that didn't have a security camera_ _monitoring_ _it and I wasn't the one to leave house all that often_ _, though_ _my_ _recent_ _experience did lead to me retracting from society even further_ _. However, exactly that happened to me._  

_When I got back home a month ago after being gone for almost a month – three weeks to be precise – my parents had already buried me. The policeman who drove me to the mansion had to help my mother stand up_ _when_ _she fell to her knees_ _after seeing me,_ _and my father had just turned to stone statue for about ten minutes_ _. I_ _t took about another five until they finally said something to me. I don’t think that I will be able to ever forget my mother's_ _crea_ _king_ _voice as she asked me "Is it really you,_ _Ciel_ _?"_  

_Strangely_ _I wasn't able to reply to her right away either. I just stared at her for few incredibly long moments until I responded with a 'yes'._  

_My mother was the one to speak again as she asked me what had happened to me. I didn't know what to answer. Before I could decide if I should lie or tell her the horrible truth she pulled me into a tight hug. It was so sudden that I almost flinched away, but her smell was so_ _famili_ _ar_ _and the ends of her hair tickling my nose felt so much like **home**_   _that I stayed unmoving and after few more moments I felt tears_ _running_ _down my cheeks. My mother was also crying – I could feel on the crook of my neck, where her face had been, moisture seeping through the ragged t-shirt I was wearing._  

_After our – if I dare say – overly emotional reunion, the first thing mother did was tell_ _Mey_ _-Rin, our maid, to prepare me a bath where I could soak for a long while. Only the next day she brought up the idea of me seeing a psychologist._

_"The things you saw and_ _experienced_ _," she said as her big blue eyes, filled with concern,_ _traced over my_ _right eye. "it's only_ _sensible_ _that you_ _should_ _get help."_  

_Of course I was against the idea, even very so, but she wouldn't cease insisting. I ended up agreeing to go to at least few sessions_ _to_ _appease_ _her mind_ _. I hated people trying to get inside my head even before the kidnapping, but now it terrified me. For the whole month I had to suffer through visiting that place three days in a week and now, I finally had been able to reach a compromise: the visit is once a week if I write a diary._  

_Actually_ _,_ _at first I thought I would just pretend to write it and just ignore the damned thing, like I always did with_ _tedious_ _tasks, however my mother managed to nag me into_ _writing down my thoughts_ _. She even checks if I wrote anything every few days. She never reads_ _what I wrote_ _though_ _,_ _and I don't know if it's because she's terrified of what I might be writing_ _, if she's just trying to deny the reality of what had truly happened or if she's just respecting my privacy._  

_Well anyway, i_ _f_ _so happens that_   _I_ _must write, I will do so. It's not that hard after all, but since I already wrote down why I got kidnapped and how I ended up letting my feelings flow onto a piece of paper, I'd like to start from the very beginning, from the day I was taken from home._


	2. Chapter One "How It All Started"

**_Chapter One_**  

**_"How It All Started_**  "

No longer do I recall where I was planning on going that day, but I had Tanaka – our chauffeur – pull up the car to the front of the mansion. While getting into the car I sensed no danger, as I was completely absorbed into the book I was holding in my hands. What alarmed me to the stranger in the vehicle was the unfamiliar voice which replied to me after I tried to start the usual conversation I and Tanaka always shared while we were on our way. The state I was in for the few following moments can only be described as a trance, as my brain tried to figure out what was happening and what was the best course of action.  

My first coherent thought, which I ended up following through with, was _"Get the fuck out of there!"_  

All of the car's doors were locked, yet I was completely oblivious to this, and while thinking that there still is hope, I tried to pry the ones, closest to my seat, open. I used all of the strength that my body possessed, yet it wouldn't budge. Once I finally realised that it is impossible to open the doors, I looked around. Fortunately for me, even though the street we were taking to the unknown destination was fairly deserted, I could catch glimpses of few passers-by rushing through the back alleys. I was about to shout for help when I felt a dull pain throb in the back of my head, and my vision went black. 

When I regained my consciousness I was in some kind of abandoned building with my body uncontrollably shivering from the overwhelming fear. My wrists and ankles were bound to their counterparts, a cloth was clogging my throat, and all I could think about was that I didn’t want to die yet. The amount of fear I felt was so insane that my mind was about to make me believe that all of this was merely a nightmare. That any moment now I will rise from my sleep to find myself in my extremely comfortable bed. That the only lingering thing to remind me of these imaginary events will be the cold sweat I will be covered from head to toe in, and the only thing I will need to do to get rid of this awful feeling is to take a bath. And that all of this will happen only in a matter of hours, I just need to wait a bit. 

Unfortunately, no matter how long I waited the awful dream didn't end. I didn't hear an alarm go off on my bedside table or feel my mother nudging me awake. The panic bubbling inside my stomach gradually subsided and was replaced by quiet desperation. Finally, I was able to concentrate on something else than the torturous feeling of fear, and could look around the room in which I was being held in.  

The walls – which I presumed once were snow white – now resembled a dirty, worn out dish rag. The sheer concrete floor had cracks all over it and was marred with blood, as well as what seemed like other bodily fluids. There was only one window in this small room. It was nothing but a tiny hole right below the ceiling with metal bars on it. Only after I noticed the pile of glass shards littered right below it, I felt another shiver shake up my body and this time. Thankfully, it was no longer caused by the fear, but the coldness of the winter seeping into my bones. The door was in none better shape than the tiny window, as it only seemed to be an iron block that had already started to rust.  

The only other object in this room – which I already had started to think of about as my cell – was a metal frame of what once was a bed. 

The window, no matter how poorly it looked, seemed to have given me a twisted sense of hope, as after seeing it I felt an urge to scream. I tried to follow through with it, hoping that by some miracle somebody will hear me and come to save me. The keyword here is **tried**.  

The cloth blocking my throat had completely slipped my mind and these attempts were not only in vain because the gag completely muffled any kind of sound I was trying to make, but the act also caused it go deeper down my throat. I started choking on the cloth and as a result had to stop trying. All of my screams and pleas for help stayed trapped inside my mind, with no way or hope to ever leave my mouth. 

I repeated the words, which I so desperately wanted to scream out loud, over and over in my head. It was as if those were the only orders I knew how to arrange letters in. As the unvoiced prayer shook my body, my vision started darkening once more. While I was on the verge of passing out, two men came into the room. I traced over their appearances, trying to find even a slightest trace of familiarity, but both men seemed strangers to me.  

They both looked a lot like each other – tall, pale skinned, dark haired. Both of them even had similar looking occult-like tattoos. But they also had their differences.

The man to the right had eyes of molten gold and the one to the left was graced with eyes which resembled the hue of freshly spilled blood. The look in neither of their eyes was what you would call particularly pleasant, but for some reason the right one's creeped me out more. I was glad that the lenses of his rectangle shaped glasses were preventing our eyes from making a direct contact. The way that man looked at me was something more than just hatred, it was something I could barely identify as lust.  

After having a very good look at them, I noticed that the man to the left was slightly taller and had a bit longer hair than his companion. 

Even though they had a similar built, the men's wardrobe choices weren't as alike as their appearances. The golden eyed man was wearing dark grey – only few shades lighter than black – jeans, V-neck t-shirt of the royal blue colour, as well as a black blazer. Opposite to his companion, the crimson eyed man's outfit was completely void of colour, as both his suit pants and dress shirt were black.  

In those clothes, with a mischievous grin playing on his lips, the taller man reminded me of a cat, thus I couldn't help myself but ponder if the superstition about the black cat bringing people misfortune by crossing their path is true. 

"Now, if you'll behave by keeping quiet, I'll take the gag out and feed you." I remember the red eyed man saying.  

My eyes widened when I recognized the voice, as it belonged to none other than my mystery driver. I couldn't help myself but think of all the horrible things he could have done to Tanaka to get into that car in his stead. I knew, that even though the driver was an old man, he still had more than enough fire left within him not to go down without a proper fight. All I could do at this point, was hope that my preparations didn't hurt him too much. 

As the man reached out to retrieve the cloth from my mouth I tried to glare at him. Oh, how desperately I wanted to show to them that this was nowhere near enough to scare me. Even if it was a huge lie. Even if I was so frightened that my whole body shivered. Even if I was so hungry I felt like I will pass out any moment now. Regretfully, the strength I had left within my body, was nowhere near enough to pull off such an act. There is no doubt that to them, I only looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  

While he was finally ripping the gag out of my mouth, I got a chance to examine the tattoo on the back of his hand. No doubt, the signs resembled the ones branded as the signs of the devil in various horror films. More black briefly flashed in my vision, which tipped me off to the fact that his nails were painted black.  

This cluster of small details alerted me of something being wrong. Very wrong, actually. I just couldn't get what it was, until, all of a sudden everything clicked while the red eyed man was forcing a greasy convenience store bought doughnut down my throat.  

_They were showing me their faces._

Shouldn't kidnappers, even more than robbers or thieves, be cautious of revealing their faces to the victim? Shouldn't they wear masks and cover up any kind of marks on their bodies that could help differentiate them from the general public, later on when they get away? Not covering up anything seemed like such an armature mistake to make, yet they were far too confident to be committing their first crime. 

And what was even more scary, it's the fact that they were so utterly sure that they will not get caught no matter what they show me.  

At that terrifying moment, I could feel the grim reaper's breath on my neck. I realised that from the very beginning they had decided to kill me. It doesn't matter if they receive the money or not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, this bit was also a part of the prequel, but after re-writing it few times I decided to split it up. I hope this isn't disappointing, as I really did work hard while writing this.  
> I'm also considering to try updating once a month. I don't know how I will manage though. Even though the chapters aren't that long I tend to re-write them a lot of times until I'm fairly satisfied with the end thing, so it does take quite a while.  
> Positive and negative comments are welcome.


	3. Chapter Two "Monsters Which Haunt My Dreams"

**_Chapter Two_**  

 **_"_ ** **_Monsters Which Haunt My Dreams_ ** _"_

 _2016.0_ _4_ _.30_  

 _I woke up from the usual nightmare once again. For the last month the memories of_ _losing_ _my right eye has constantly_ _plagued_ _my dreams._ _Even_ _on those extremely rare dreamless nights I_ _feel the pain_ _thro_ _b_ _in the_ _gap_ _ing_ _hole where my eye_ _once_ _used to be. The worst part of this is that those_ _nightmares_ _are so vivid I can hardly tell the_ _difference_ _between the dreams and reality._ _Every night_ _I dutifully take drugs to calm my dreams at least a bit, however they have yet to work a single time._  

My two kidnappers fought a lot. And by _a lot,_ I do not mean huge fights with few hours in between. Oh no, it was a constant, extremely annoying, cat and dog bickering. And just my luck, the walls in this place turned out to be quite thin, so I ended up hearing almost every single word they said in a raised tone of voice. 

It turned out to be quite a torture method, though I highly doubt that they realised that I could hear them.  

Due to this, it only took me about an hour – or at least I think so, as my perception of time was never the best and these events only served to worsen it  – to find out both of my captors' names. The one who drove the car turned out to go by the name of Sebastian and the other one was called Claude.  

Though, truth be told, the nickname Sebastian gave his companion – _"four-eyed spider"  –_ served to amuse me quite a bit. 

It felt like an eternity had passed until I was graced with another kind of torture – the greasy convenience store bought doughnut. Although I did appreciate the opportunity to eat, I couldn't help myself but wish that they would've got me a different kind of food. After this treatment Sebastian untied my wrists and let me drink the 0.5l bottle of water he had brought, without the need of his help. I had to stop myself from feeling grateful to the red eyed man, as I gulped the water down, washing away the terrible aftertaste of the cheap doughnut.  

Once I emptied the entire bottle, Sebastian unceremoniously grabbed it from my hands, screwed the cap back on and lifted it in front of my face. 

"You shouldn't hope to leave this room even when the nature calls. " Sebastian stated. "You'll have to piss in this, I'm afraid." He put the bottle right next to me and continued talking. "Right, now onto a more serious note."  

As the man talked, my eyes shifted to the tiny window. I stared at the blur of the treetops I could barely make out, and a full moon hanging right above them. The sky was starless so I figured that we weren't as far from the city as I initially thought. Maybe, even close enough for me to walk home, if by some miraculous way I got out of here. 

Sebastian, seeing that I wasn't paying attention to whatever he was saying, took out a folded piece of paper and placed it on my knees. 

"Learn this in half an hour." Were the last words the red eyed man voiced before leaving the room.  

I only looked down when I heard the door cling shut. The paper resting on my knees was the thin A4 printer paper sheet, with few lines written on it. I scanned the words and soon realised that it was a ransom demand. I still remember the exact words I had to learn: 

 **"I am unhurt and being taken care of. If you want to ever see me alive again, all you need to do is bring the money** **without contacting the** **authorities** **. You have time until Friday** **5 p.m. to collect twenty million dollars. They will** **contact you about the location 15 minutes before the exchange. The money will be** **check** **ed** **for trackers and dye packs as soon as they receive it. If they find either they will shoot me."**  

Two powerful urges were fighting within me as I read the demand. One of them was the urge to laugh and the other one – to cry. _'If you ever want to see me alive'._ Like that was ever going to happen. I had already seen way too much to be regarded as harmless enough to be left alive. 

The sound of the train going by on its rails disturbed my thoughts. Once again, my full concentration was on the small window leading to outside. I did not notice as I started whispering the words _"_ _Somebod_ _y_ _... anybody... please, help me..."_ over and over again. It was pointless, but at the time, I was as sure of the fact that if I repeat those words enough times, one of the passengers on the train will come to my rescue, as I currently am sure that I am alive. 

I fell asleep while repeating this mantra and praying to a god I didn't believe in. 

A loud bang of the door hitting the wall woke me up. Cold golden coloured eyes stared down at me and I felt embarrassed by my current state under his look. I could feel a wetness on my cheeks, indicating that I had been crying in my sleep, and honestly speaking, I would not have been surprised if I begged to be saved while unconscious as well.  

"Sebastian, bring the dammed burner! The sleeping beauty's awake!" Claude yelled, but received no answer.  

He waited for few seconds and yelled for his partner once more, only to be greeted by silence again. The man then tsked and after turning, as well as looking down to me, scratched his head.  

"Fuck it." Was all he muttered before pulling out a piece of rough cloth from the back pocket of his jeans. As he tied it over my eyes I struggled against him, wondering why he chose to rid me of my sight in this particular moment, when neither of them bothered before.  

I tried to break free as Claude dragged me through the whole building, but to no avail. I even considered biting the golden eyed man, but we seemed to have reached our destination before I could take any action. 

"Is that any way to treat our precious guest?" An oh-so-familiar voice asked. Sebastian was clearly amused by this whole ordeal and, as the appalling scent of cigarette smoke indicated, taking a drag.  

"If you like him that much, you should've been the one to drag him here. This brat doesn’t cooperate at all!" Claude complained. "And don't you dare telling me that you didn't bring the burner because you were taking a fucking smoking break!" He spat, yet his companion only chuckled at him. 

"What can I say, I'm nothing but an addict that has no other choice but to indulge in his habit." The way Sebastian said those words made me hundred and ten percent sure that this situation was nothing but a game to him. 

After their little exchange I could hear only one person walking around the room. The said person was probably looking for the burner cell phone, the both men had mentioned earlier. The steps soon started nearing me and the phone was placed next to my left ear.  

It took four beeps for the person on the other end to pick up. 

 _"Hello?_ " The anxious voice, which I heard answer, belonged to my mother. 

"Say anything you're not supposed to, and you're dead meat." Claude harshly whispered in my other ear as I heard another pair of footsteps starting to walk in my direction. 

I took a deep breath. Believing that I could survive this, would have been a lot easier for me, yet I no longer could deny the reality of me dying either way this goes. I was already dead when they brought me here. I had nothing to lose.  

I had already fully submerged myself in thoughts like those, yet my body still shook violently as I forced words to leave my mouth. 

"It's an abandoned hospital, or some kind of similar building. I could hear a train go by and saw treetops so-" I talked as fast as I could before I felt a dull pang of pain in the back of my head. I could hear the gizmo, which had been next to my ear just few seconds prior, hit the floor. 

Cold hands, smelling of tobacco, ripped the blindfold off my face. The sudden burst of light temporarily blinded me, though after regaining my vision I realised why Claude had covered my eyes with that piece of cloth.  

I was sitting in front of a large window where I could perfectly see the roads leading to the building, the railroad just a bit further away, and even a rest stop. If I had seen this view a few seconds earlier and blabbered my mouth about it, we would have been found in a matter of hours.  

After shifting my eyes a bit higher, the only thing in my field of vision was Sebastian's blood red eyes. He kicked me in the gut after a few seconds of eye contact and started chuckling as he yanked my head up. The man continued to chuckle as he put two of his fingers into my right eye socket. The pain was excruciating. I was certain that it couldn't get any worse, but then the said man started wiggling his fingers in the mesh my eye had turned into.  

My vision went red.  

Hot blood ran down my face and filled my mouth as I opened it to scream.   

I choked on my own blood and listened to him quietly laugh at my pain. 

Then, suddenly everything stopped. Sebastian pulled out his fingers from the gaping hole where my eye used to be, and I no longer tried to scream. My head hit the floor with a loud thud which was followed by a sound of person walking and Claude saying _"Twenty million dollars by_ _Friday_ _5 p.m. And don't dare to try anything funny."_  

I passed out after those words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend, who betas all my fanfiction, said that this fic reminds her of "Killing Stalking". After reading it, I decided that I'm proud of that fact.  
> Well anyway, positive and negative comments are welcome, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	4. Chapter Three "Eye For An Eye"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: rape attempt.

**_Chapter Three_**  

**_Eye For A_** ** _n Eye_**   

_2016.05.01_   

_Once again, aunt Angelina inspected my wounded eye socket. Thankfully, this time_ _I sat on my own comfortable bed and not between the cold hospital walls with an_ _unnecessarily_ _high ceiling above me._  

_After she was done, aunt Angelina_ _advised_ _me to let the wound breathe. She said that it would heal a lot faster that way. My parents insisted on me hee_ _ding her advic_ _e and even went as far as ordering me a prosthetic eye. They d_ _o_ _no_ _t want me to walk around wearing an eyepatch any longer than I need to._  

_I, myself, do no_ _t_ _particularly_ _mind the eyepatch or the stares I receive, on the off chance I go outside while wearing it. Frankly speaking, I a_ _m not completely sure that both mother and fa_ _ther are rushing all of this purely for my sake. From_ _wh_ _ere_ _I am standing, they are doing it more for their own sake than mine. I think, that they just want to be done with this as soon as possible and live their lives as if nothing happened._  

_While Angelina was taking a look at the gaping hole in my face, she_ _tou_ _ched_ _the skin near where my eye used to be. I just could not help myself and slapped her hand away. Unfortunately my mother had been in the room with us and saw it all happen. She_ _wa_ _sted_ _no time in setting me up an extra appointment with the psychiatrist this week._  

When I first woke up, my delusional mind nearly made me believe that I was at home, safely tucked away in my own bed. For a split second I believed that everything I experienced was just a nightmare and that I had finally woken up from it. The soaring pain radiating throughout my body was the thing which made me realise the harshness of the reality I was in. I reached up to my right eye, still feeling the hot blood running down my face, but my fingers were unable to detect any of the sticky liquid, only a bandage.  

"Be careful, the wound is still raw." A voice I did not recognize stated. Hence I turned my head to the left, where the stranger's voice was coming from.  

My vision was quite blurry so it was hard for me to make something out of the man's face. I could only distinguish few general features, like his dark, wavy shoulder length hair and round glasses. From the white lab coat he was wearing, I presumed that he was some kind of underground doctor, though I was not completely sure.  

Truthfully speaking, my mind was so lost in the delirium of pain, I would not be surprised if I had imagined him. It took me moments to slip back into the peacefulness of unconsciousness. 

Next time I awoke Sebastian was the person who sat by my side. He was entertaining himself by reading a book.  

It was about then that I realised that the bed on which I was laying was soft. I even had a blanket draped over me and a pillow under my head. I looked around the room wondering if I was no longer in the abandoned building, but the dirty walls and the small window informed me otherwise.  

Without realising it, I tugged on Sebastian's shirt with the tips of my fingers, causing the said man to look up from his book. 

"You're up." He stated. 

I wanted to sit up, but once I tried a wave of pain shot through my head and I couldn't help myself but moan out in pain. 

"How long have I been out?" I inquired once the pain subsided a little bit. 

"About three days." The cold red eyes stared down at me. "If the pain is too much I can give you some morphine." 

I did not answer yet Sebastian still put his book down on the floor – right next to where he was sitting  – and left the room. After a few minutes he appeared in the doorway once again. This time his pale hands were hidden by baby blue medical gloves, as he carried a syringe in his right hand. 

With his graceful fingers Sebastian plugged the needle into the IV drip which was connected to my vein. I was dumbstruck that I did not notice it before, but then again my mind was clouded by pain. As the liquid entered my bloodstream the man's eyes bore into mine. The stare of those red eyes was as cold as the weather outside, yet somehow I couldn't help myself but think that maybe giving me morphine is a way of him showing regret in his actions. 

My vision blurred into nothingness and I fell asleep once more. 

Every time I woke up after that, Sebastian was by my side. The man never said much and barely even looked at me. The fact that the pain was the thing to always wake me up did nothing to improve our short conversations. However the searing pain was always short lived, as the red eyed man's every visit ended with the sweet drops of morphine caressing me from the inside, making me completely forget about the gaping hole in my face. 

I am not aware how much time I have spent in swimming around in the surrealness caused by that dreamy liquid, until one time I awoke from the pain and instead of Sebastian the one by my side was Claude. The last time I had seen the golden eyed man was so long ago, I almost forgot of his existence.  

After staring at the man next to me for few moments I looked around. Nothing changed - I was still laying on the same bed, in the same room, with the same IV attached to my arm. 

Claude was not paying any attention to me, as he was preoccupied with the phone in his hands. The throbbing pain in my head seemed to be getting worse and worse, I could not stand it. I turned my head – in search of the blessed needle which always lessened my suffering – the action causing me to groan out in pain. Claude must have heard me as he turned to me as soon as I made the noise.  

"Rise and shine, love." He mocked me.  

Through the haze of pain, my mind was trying to think of the reason for Claude's presence and Sebastian's absence. I could not think of even one, as the ringing in my head got unbearably loud. 

"You must be hungry." The man commented pulling something out from underneath the bed. It was a bag of spicy chips, or at least the package claimed so. "Want some?" He ripped the bag open and started eating the snack. The golden eyes stared at me mockingly as if saying _"Well, you're not getting any."_  

If I could, I would have stood up and hit the man so hard he would have lost all his wits. During our every encounter Claude would always do something to irritate me, it was as if the man was obsessed with taunting me. 

Suddenly the man's phone started vibrating, interrupting his teasing. Few harsh curse words escaped his foul mouth before he put down the bag of chips and looked at his phone. The call must have been quite important as the man wasted no time leaving the room and answering his phone.  

Terror and disappointment flooded me as I thought about the possibility of Sebastian trading duties with his partner permanently. Not only Claude was keen on making fun of me, he also seemed to have no intention of relieving my pain. The fact that with every waking moment the pain intensified more and more was not helping the situation. 

The drilling in my head had gotten so loud that I did not notice the golden eyed man's return to the room until he sat down in his previous position. 

"You know you're going to die, don’t you?" The man asked. To my biggest surprise the emotion displayed on his face seemed to be concern. 

Not a word left my mouth as I nodded in response. The man before me sighed and ripped the IV out of my vein. 

"You must not want to die." He stated and I nodded again. "I can't describe how sorry I am, but there's no other way. You'll have to die." Claude hung his head and I could no longer see the eyes of the molten gold. I also turned my eyes away. If he was so sorry he could just let me go, or give me more morphine. 

"But at least I can make sure that you enjoy your last moments." A breathy whisper left the man's lips. 

I had no idea what Claude was talking about, and frankly speaking I did not care that much either. That is, until I heard the sound of something unzipping. I instantly turned my head back at Claude, the swift motion causing my head to spin and my vision to blur for few moments. My eye widened once I realised that he was unzipping his pants. Suddenly his unexpected appearance made so much more sense. 

"No!" I started shouting, but he was already laying on top of me. 

"Don’t pretend like you don't want it." The man whispered into my ear. "I bet thinking about dying gets you turned on." He licked the lobe of my ear. "Just look at how hard it gets me." 

I tried to kick him, hit him and push him off. Unfortunately I was so much more weaker than Claude was. I was about to give up. From my perspective there was no chance in hell that I could get out of this. Until I noticed the hanger the IV was hanging off. 

I pretended to give in to the disgusting man on top of me. His hands were already under the blanket and he was about to get my pants off me, when I was finally able to reach the IV hanger. Before he could do anything else I hit him over the head, hard. He did not stop right away so I delivered another, and another blow, until the man on top of me was no longer moving.  

The grip of my bloody fingers loosened around the IV hanger as I understood what I had done. I just killed a man and was feeling no remorse for it. To be told the truth, I was relieved. Even the panging in my head lessened.  

This could be done. I could run away from this place and never think about it again. I could get my life back.  

Feeling the adrenaline pulse through my veins I pushed the dead man off myself. He was heavier than I expected, but somehow I managed to do it. It was a bit of a struggle to get out of bed, but after few tries I accomplished it.  

Luckily for me, Claude's body avoided the bag of chips he had previously set on the floor. The man had previously been right, I was very hungry. I picked up the bag and started eating the unhealthy snack, with my hands still covered in Claude's blood, but even if I tried, I could not care less.

I could not tell if the chips were as spicy as the package claimed, as the metallic taste of blood overwhelmed any kind of flavour they could have had. 

Once the bag was completely empty I wobbled to the doorway and out of the room. After the initial adrenaline rush was over, I realised how exhausted and weak my body truly was, but I could not afford to think about it. My priority was finding an exit out of this building. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of ended up scratching out the next few chapters after I wrote them.... With that and a huge load of work coming my way the update might take a while. Yeah.... I will still try to get the 4th chapter up asap. I just probably won't be able to do it until the very end of the next month or the beginning of april. It really depends on if I have a mental breakdown before my speech exam or not...  
> Well, now that I'm done with that I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I worked hard on it.  
> Positive and negative comments are welcome.


	5. Chapter Four "Returning Home"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, finally, it's here! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as the ones before it!  
> Negative and positive comments are welcome.

**_Chapter Four_**   

 ** _"Returning Home_** "  

 _2016.05.13_    

 _I_ _relapse_ _d_ _and_ _had_ _another a_ _sthma attack. It has been more than two years since my family_ _last_ _s_ _aw me collapse due to one_ _,_ _and even though I was very sickly as a child_ _,_ _my parents were_ _terrified_ _. This actually surprised me_ _._ _Just a few years back i_ _t used to be_ _a routine_ _thing, and I could not think of why this time was any different_ _._  

 _Thankfully, aunt Angelina was visiting us at that time_ _. She was not fazed by any of this_ _and_ _swiftly provided me with the first aid, as well as_ _contacted_ _the paramedics._  

 _I have been in the hospital ever since. My parents come to visit me quite often and Angelina pops in whenever she has a free minute. It is one of the perks of staying_ _in_ _the same hospital she works at._  

 _Hannah, my psychologist, had also_ _visited_ _me twice during this week_ _-_ _long stay in the hospital. Her visit had_ _ca_ _ught_ _me off guard, but I should not have been surprised for she must have received a_ _he_ _fty_ _sum of money from my parents for the said visit._  

 _While visiting me for the first time, Hannah ended up talking more than I d_ _id_ _. After forcing out of me the fact that I find staying in the hospital completely_ _unnecessary, she could not stop talking_ _about my parents' feelings. The woman just went on and on_ _about how scared my parents are feeling after the_ _kidnapping, how frightened they are of_ _lo_ _sing_ _me and how unwilling they are to risk it._  

 _To be honest, I find her voice extremely unpleasant – to the point it sometimes causes me headaches – but I was glad that I did not need to talk during that session._  

 _O_ _n her second visit_ _,_ _Hannah inquired me about the faces, voices and other traits of my kidnappers which could help to_ _differentiate_ _them from the general public. I denied seeing and_ _having heard_ _anything that could_ _distinguish_ _them. She t_ _ri_ _ed to talk me into trying hypnosis_ _but soon gave up – at least for now – as_ _I was quite openly opposed to the whole_ _or_ _deal_ _, to be honest._  

 _Somehow, as more time passes, I start to regret com_ _ing_ _home. It is beyond me why, but for some reason, even though I am with people who are supposed to love me the most, I just feel so unbearably lonely and detached._  

I wandered in the winding corridors of the building for quite some time. I would not be surprised if was lost in there for more than few hours. After all, I was at a complete loss of both my senses of direction and time. When I finally made it out, it was already dark outside and my feet were bleeding. The pain in the soles of my feet was sharp and it was hard to walk, but it was no surprise, considering the absence of shoes on my feet.  

The smell of home was beginning to fill my nostrils until an oh-so-familiar voice shattered my fragile, yet vivid, delusion.  

"What are you doing here?" Sebastian's velvety voice questioned, sending a chilling shiver down my spine. 

My mind started coming up with excuses, each one even stupider than the one which came before it. My mouth was ready to use any of those, yet I knew that no excuse in the world could get me out of this situation.  

As I result, I just bolted to the direction of the woods and ran as fast as I could. However, my body was malnourished and my legs were aching from the horrible pain, which was second only to the one invading my body through the gaping hole in my face.  

Somehow I managed to reach the first trees, right where the welcoming woods – which could have hidden me – began. I basked in ecstasy, caused by the thought that I could see the outside world once more. Any hope of this had been abolished the first day I spent locked up in that tiny room with dirty walls and iron door. Yet now I was running, with the only limit being the horizon. 

Everything would have been perfect, if not for the heavy sound of second footsteps coming directly from behind me, which invaded my ears. For the last week, the fortune had not been kind to me, however, at long last, I believed to be in the goddesses' good graces once again. After all, I was still out running the man. That is until it started getting harder for me to breathe.  

Seconds later, I was coughing. 

It took only a few more moments for my eyes to start watering and my vision get blurry, as well.   

I could no longer control my feet, thus while sluggishly running, I ended up slipping.  

My hands were feeling far too numb to grab onto something, and even though at the very last second I did try to latch onto some twigs, I did not manage.  

My face collided with the soft white blanket of snow, covering the hard frozen earth. I tried to get up and start running once more, but my body did not cooperate. I was left to lay there, debating with myself over which way Sebastian is going to use to kill me. 

Painfully familiar feeling resonated within my body. I was having an asthma attack. 

* * *

"You know, I'm starting to think that the money isn't worth all of this trouble." Were the first words I heard after regaining my consciousness. 

Once I opened my eyes, I firstly noticed that my surroundings were a lot cleaner. The room, which I was in, was tidy, though small, the bed on which I was lying on was miles softer too. This unexpected change caused me to start pondering if my miserable life on the earth had finally come to an end and I was in the God's blessed kingdom.  

Yet the blood red eyes, which stared at me with intensity, reminded me more of the eyes of a demon than the ones of an angel. 

"We're at my apartment." Sebastian stated before I even got a chance to voice the question. 

He was sitting on the bed, his eyes bearing into me. The man was still like a statue, with only his chest rising and falling rhythmically. It seemed as if he had spent a forever like that, nonetheless, the book in his hands indicated that he was reading just a few minutes prior. 

"Why did you save me?" I forced out after few moments of silence.  

Even though my throat was unbearably dry and it was incredibly hard for me to make any kind of sound, I just had to ask this question. If I did not, my mind would certainly be plagued by the mystery later. 

"Getting rid of two bodies at once would've been too much of a chore." Sebastian stood up and started walking toward the door. "That's all, so don't get too comfortable with staying here." 

After voicing his thoughts Sebastian left the room. As he closed the door behind himself I could hear a soft click, indicating that he had locked it. While laying on the bed, with silence no longer being disturbed by anyone's voice, I noticed a cacophony coming from the outside.  

Though I still felt quite feverish and experienced difficulties while getting up, I got out of the soft bed and went to the window, which was huge, compared to the one in my previous place of stay. 

We were no longer in the suburbs, but definitely in the city. Judging by the amount of rubbish outside and the endless rows of block apartments, I could see through the window, it was one of the poorer parts of it.  

If I would have banged on the window, somehow pried it open and shouted for help I am pretty sure someone would have heard me or even called the police. However, I did not even try. I knew I was too weak to do that.  

Though, I did end up exploring the new room. And even more, than I intended at first.  

Honestly, it was nothing special. The room was quite small and the walls were painted a soft yellow shade. Beside the double bed in the middle of the room, a nightstand on the left side of the bed and a closet full of various articles of clothing, there was only a single shelf nailed to the wall. It was made of dark wood and filled with a selection of books, stacked on top of each other to preserve space. I also found another few piles of books hidden under the bed.  

During the span of time I and Sebastian cohabitated in this apartment, we constantly exchanged passive aggressive remarks. Despite that, our life together was quite peaceful. 

Whenever Sebastian came to this room he would give me something. _"A gift"_ as he called it. Those gifts often made me happier than I had ever been in my whole life. Sometimes it would come in the shape of a liquid filled needle, on other times it was some kind of pills, and very rarely did it come in the shape of a powder filled bag. 

Due to those gifts, I completely lost any sense of time I had left. All of the days spent in that apartment blurred into one. I reached a point where I would believe Sebastian if he said that we only spent a day in here, just as perfectly as I would believe if he told me that we have been staying here for already a year. 

Truthfully speaking, I began wishing to stay here forever. 

The room was comically tiny, compared to the lavish bedroom I got to enjoy in my parents' house, but it quickly became my safe heaven. All I needed to do, to avoid Sebastian's beatings, was behave. And either way, I never did anything to deserve more than a punch.  

We even ended up sharing our meals. Though they were equally as bad as the convenience store bought doughnuts the man used to bring me.  

Eventually, I started feeling as if I was his equal. It was a feeling I never felt before, not even among my peers. It was ironic, actually. To all of them – Sebastian included – I was only an heir to a multi-million dollar company, yet the ones who pretended to be my friends were less honest than the person calling himself my kidnapper. 

 _"Don't get too cocky,"_ He would occasionally say, with a cat-like smile displayed on his pale face. _"I'm only going to let you stay here until I find a way to get even more money out of this."_  

This phrase would usually indicate that I was getting too friendly, and I loved this brutal honesty. It was so refreshing.  

I started forgetting about anything existing outside of this apartment and one time, while I was being lulled to sleep by one of the pills the crimson eyed man gave me, a frightening thought entered my mind: 

 _"I no longer want to return home."_  


	6. Chapter Five "Surprises"

**_Chapter Five_**  

**_"_** ** _Surprises_** ** _"_**   

_2016.05.18_   

_Finally, I am no longer in the hospital. After I was fully stabilized and spent nearly two weeks in there – with the doctors checking up on me_ _regular_ _ly –_ _Angelina sent me home with a b_ _ottle of prescription medicine and an order to rest in my bed for at least another week. Though_ _truthfully speaking, the only reason why I had to stay under such an intensive care was probably the fact that my last asthma attack had not been treated properly._  

_However, I did find myself enjoying the said bed rest. Even while I was still staying in the hospital. Because even_ _though_ _it_ _forces me to think about things I would rather ignore – even more than I would care to admit – the feather soft mattress and fluffy blankets make me feel less lonely than I usually do._  

_I feel so very lonely these days. It seems as if the only person who actually tries to understand me is Hannah, everyone else just wants to move forward as fast as they can. But then again, that is what she is getting paid for._  

_The pills Sebastian had given me, right before our separation, have already run out. I should not be surprised, as the bag I received was not big and no matter how hard I_ _tried_ _to make it last longer, it was bound to have run out in the almost two months that have already passed. Yet, the moment I_ _realized_ _that the_ _cellophane_ _bag was empty, I was still shocked._  

_I do not know if my parents, or any of the_ _servants_ _, have already noticed that the first symptoms of withdrawals are already_ _plagu_ _ing_ _me._  

_As I shiver under this_ _mountain_ _of blankets, surrounded by the fort of the softest pillows my skin has ever touched, for some reason I keep remembering the very first day I spent in Sebastian's_ _ap_ _artment_ _._  

On that day, the crimson eyed man appeared once more only after the sun had already set. He entered the room carrying two black cellophane bags. 

"Take a shower and change out of those rags," Sebastian ordered me after shoving the smaller bag into my arms. 

The older man led me to the bathroom, which was right next to the tiny room in which I was staying. Just as one would expect in this miniature flat, the bathroom was none bigger than six restroom stalls.  

The most space was taken up by an old bulky bathtub with a shower curtain hung over its one side. It was propped against the wall, causing the toilet to be squeezed in between a laundry bin and a washing machine, opposite of the said tub. There was also a sink placed right between the laundry bin and the bathtub, with a mirror cabinet hanging few centimeters above it. 

After hearing the door click shut, I started inspecting the reflection of my face in the said mirror. Luckily my face was a lot cleaner than I expected it to be. It was only covered in a thin layer of a mixture of dried up blood and dirt.  

The bandage over my eye was in a lot worse shape though. It seemed as if the grime had become one with the cloth. So much so, that the bandage even had a sour smell coming from it. The wound under it hurt so much, that I was almost sure of it having gotten infected.  

My hair was not any cleaner than the dressing covering the said wound, as almost an identical mixture made it stiff. 

The clothes that I had been wearing the day I was kidnapped had truly turned into rags by now, just as Sebastian said. As I stripped, I finally noticed just how stiff and crusty they had gotten. The shirt which once was white had been completely ruined, by the brown stains situated all over the expensive piece of clothing. My dark blue pants were now of this dirty, almost black, colour, but the changes were not as noticeable as the ones on the shirt. 

As I looked down to my feet, I saw tons of small scratches all over them and only a few bigger wounds, which seemed to be infected, as they had a yellowish layer of dried up pus covering them.  

Before I even got into the bathtub, I realized that having a shower will hurt a lot.  

Even though my legs were trembling, it was not as hard to get into the bathtub as I anticipated it to be. The tub was not yet dry from the previous use and I could feel the tiny cuts on the soles of my feet starting to sting. When I turned the water on, the stinging only got worse. I looked down at my feet while cursing and ended up being hypnotized by the sight of my filthy footprints being washed away and all of the gunk swirling at the surface of the once clean water. 

At first, the water coming out of the showerhead was so cold I could feel its icy claws gripping my lungs, restricting them and preventing them from functioning. I stood for few minutes under the freezing water, until it started getting warmer, allowing me to breathe again. 

Wasting no time, I grabbed the soap placed on the edge of the sink. As I did that, I noticed that I had forgotten to draw the curtain across the edge of the bathtub. When I looked down, the floor was a mess. There were tiny puddles forming on the floor, with my dirty clothing soaking up as much liquid as they could and painting the water muddy brown. 

I quickly drew the curtain and started scrubbing the grime off my body. It was a long and tedious task, which made the bruises marring my body ache even more, but I enjoyed doing it. 

After getting out of the tub, I patted myself dry with the white towel which I found on top of the laundry bin and proceeded to use the said towel to wipe up the water on the tiled floor. The dirty liquid dyed the now impure cloth brown as well.  

Once I was done with that, I threw both my clothes and the towel, which now resembled a dirty floor rag, into the tub, painting the bottom of it brown, for the last time. 

In the mirror cabinet above the sink, I found the first aid kit. I placed it on the surface of the washing machine before starting to dig through it. Sadly, I could not find hydrogen peroxide – or any other kind of disinfectant – in it. Though, thankfully, it did contain several loose band-aids and unopened, clean bandages.  

It took few moments, for me to mentally prepare myself to change the wound dressing.  

First, I started scrubbing the dirt and the blood off my face, while the bandage was still on. Once my face was the cleanest I could get it to be, I started slowly removing the cloth covering my right eye. It was stuck to my face incredibly well and it took me quite a bit of strength to peel it off. 

As I was doing it, the sour smell intensified tenfold and I started to gag. 

The stench was more than enough to make me vomit. However, I succeeded in forcing my stomach to settle down. I did not need any more filth that I would have to clean off my body later. 

I threw the dirty material to the ground, with blood and pus covering the inside of it.  

I did not dare to look in the mirror after that. I was terrified of passing out after seeing the wound. 

Once again, I washed my hands before ripping the package of the clean bandages open. I put it on the edge of the sink and proceeded to look for sterile cotton wool and sticky tape, in a box which was frankly a poor excuse for a first aid kit. Fortunately, I did find those two crucial things at the very bottom of the said box.  

Before closing the box, I also grabbed a handful of the loose band-aids for the bigger wounds on my feet.  

After putting the first aid kit back to its proper place, I placed everything that I will need while dealing with my wounds, on the washing machine's flat surface.  

Firstly, I rolled out quite a bit of already opened bandage and ripped the rolled out part off. I folded it few times until I got a perfect square. After that, I placed it back on the washing machine and ripped out a slightly smaller square of sterile cotton wool from the roll I found in the box. I placed it on top of the bandage and took few deep breaths before ripping out another piece of the wool roll and moistened the new piece with tap water.  

I held my breath as I began to clean off the blood and the pus off the edges of the wound. Just touching anywhere near the said wound hurt so much that it made my head spin. However, I forced myself to continue. Though I did not dare to touch the inside of the wound and left it just as it was before.  

Feeling like I was about to faint, I threw the piece of cotton into the sink and hurried to the washing machine.  

I had to at least dress the wound before passing out.  

Even though my vision was already very blurry, I still somehow managed to rip few strips of the first aid sticky tape and tape the dressing over my eye, before my vision went completely black and my legs could no longer hold me up.  

While pressing myself into the cold tiled floor, I hoped that the cool surface would help me at least a little bit.  

* * *

 

I was woken up by the sound of something hitting the door. 

A kick. 

Sebastian must have kicked the door. 

"If you're trying to kill yourself, please, do so in the bathtub. That would be a lot easier to clean." The older man's voice came from the other side of the door. I did not reply, and I did not hear him saying anything else either. The only sound to follow his words was the sound of footsteps, as the said man walked away.  

Slowly, I got up. The pain was still the same, but at least I was no longer feeling like I was about to faint. 

The plastic bag, which I tossed onto the toilet seat's lid, right after entering the bathroom, caught my attention. I looked inside it and found clothes.  

The bag contained a pair of plain white underwear, as well as a pair of gray socks. The dark blue t-shirt and the black sweatpants – which were also in the bag – were two sizes too big for me, but I was glad to at least have clean clothes.  

After putting the band-aids on the bigger scratches on my feet, I got dressed in the new clothes and tossed the old ones into the black cellophane bag, along with the other thrash.  

While making my way out of the bathroom I saw Sebastian sitting on the sofa in the living room. He was reading a newspaper.  

"So you didn't kill yourself." The man commented. "I was pretty sure that I'll have to deal with another dead body." 

"There is no need for me to do that." I found myself replying. 

"Is that so?" The crimson eyed man looked up at me, with a playful smile on his lips and his eyebrows raised in question. 

"Both of us can peacefully leave this apartment only when one of us is dead, but that does not mean that you can not be the dead body." Now a playful smile was present on my face too. 

"Toss that bag under the kitchen sink and go to the bedroom. I'll bring your food in a moment." He feigned boredom, flipping the page and continuing to read the newspaper in his hands. However, I still could see his smile.  

I followed his orders, as there was not much for me to choose from. It did not take long for him to show up in the room as well. In his one hand, the man was carrying a box of Chinese take-out, as well as a fork. In the other one, he held a syringe, filled with some kind of liquid. 

"A gift for you, little master." He stated while holding forward the syringe.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't actually know how I feel about this chapter. At first, I was really satisfied, but as I am posting it I think it's missing something, but I have no idea what.   
> Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this chapter nonetheless! Positive and negative comments are welcome!


	7. Chapter Six "Broken  Mirrors"

**_Chapter Six_**  

**_"_** ** _Broken  Mirrors_** ** _"_**  

_2016.05.19_   

_I can no longer stand mirrors. Whenever I look at one, I feel as if the me in there is_ _mocking the flesh and blood standing before it. I simply seem to be unable of getting the illusion of it laughing at my weakness and pointing out all of my_ _imperfections out of my head._  

_"Look at what you have been reduced to." I could hear a voice whisper in my head, every time I glanced at any reflective surface._  

_And today something in me finally_ _snapped_ _. I simply had enough of_ _those voices and insulting looks, hence_ _I_ _broke every fucking mirror in my_ _possession_ _._  

_I did it right after waking up this morning. I just could not bare the thought of having to start another day_ _while staring at my reflection_ _in the mirror of the closet door, which stood right across the room from my bed._  

_So, while the alarm on my phone was still ringing, I threw the said object at it._  

_I have no idea how I managed to throw the device that hard, but the mirror shards were flying in every direction. The dark blue carpeting of my room was covered in the shards and the morning sun rays hit them just at the right angle to make it seem as if it had snowed in the room._  

_T_ _hose sharp snowflakes shone so beautifully that I could not help myself but be_ _mesmerized_ _at how_ _breathtaking_ _, yet violent they looked. I felt so calmed by this sight that I wanted to do it_ _once more_ _, just to feel the satisfaction when making it snow again._  

_While paying no attention to the small sharp objects bearing themselves into my feet, I got out of the bed and walked all the way over to the French windows_ _of_ _my_ _bed_ _room._ _Drawing_ _the heavy grey curtains shut, I made the room get engulfed by_ _darkness, preventing the_ _said_ _shards from_ _gleaming again._  

_The only other mirror_ _which belonged to me_ _was in my personal bathroom,_ _therefore_ _I wa_ _sted_ _no time making my way across my bedroom and into there. That mirror_ _I_ _smashed_   _using_ _a soap dish made of rock, which had been lying on the edge of the bathroom sink._  

_Infuriated_ _by the_ _fact that I could still make out my reflection in it, I continued to hit_ _t_ _he mirror_ _over and over again, until the numerous webs of cracks turned it into_ _nothing more than a_ _mosaic._ _But that was not enough for me. There still were so many mirrors in this fucking huge house, ridiculing me whenever I_ _glimpsed_ _at them._  

_So, I exited the bathroom, stepping on even bigger shards than the ones my bedroom was littered with. However, just like before, I felt no pain as they pierced my skin, even though I could clearly see the trail of blood I was leaving on the white tiled bathroom floor behind me._  

_I could hear my parents banging on the door of my bedroom,_ _their terrified voices_ _cal_ _ling_ _out to me. Someone was fidgeting with the lock, missing the keyhole more than once due to the overwhelming feeling of urgency._  

_Feeling the need to hide, I stood in the doorway of my bathroom,_ _w_ _eighing_ _all of my options. I closed my eyes_ _, trying to make the cogs spinning in my head_ _t_ _urn_ _faster._  

_The best option would_ _have_ _be_ _en_ _to try and barricade myself in the bathroom, but_ _there was no way I would have_ _lasted there long_ _._ _Not only did_ _the door itself ha_ _ve_ _no lock_ _, but_ _t_ _here_ _also_ _were no heavy objects I could push in front of the_ _mentioned door._  

_Like a deer caught in the headlights, I_ _continued to_ _st_ _and_ _there frozen and waited for the_ _dread_ _ed_ _door to open._  

_The sound of key finally being popped into the lock re_ _sonated_ _in my ears._  

_One spin._  

_Two spins._  

_The sound of the door opening_ _was the last thing I heard, before peeling my_ _eyelids_ _open._  

_First, I saw my mother and father's worried faces as they rushed towards me._  

_And only t_ _hen_ _I saw_   _Mey_ _-Rin_ _. She was_ _holding the small silver coloured key in her trembling hands._  

_As my mother pressed m_ _e_ _into herself, holding onto me for dear life, I also noticed the small cuts covering my hands. At that moment, I no longer felt like a mad man with the only purpose of_ _destroying_ _every single mirror in the house, but I was_ _so_ _very painfully aware that all three other people standing in this room thought of me as insane._  

The polyphonic ringtone of an old Nokia phone awoke me from my slumber. It was coming from another room and I, unable to resist the overpowering feeling of curiosity, got up from my bed to check if the door separating me from it was locked. Unfortunately, the door did not budge open when I tried to open it. 

Shortly, the ringing stopped and was replaced by soft whispering. Even though it was loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door, regretfully it also was quiet enough for me to be unable to make out a single word of what was said. 

Disappointed, I returned to the bed and woke up again only when the sunlight had filled the room. I could swear that I only slept for two or three hours at most, and as a result, I was feeling worse than the death itself. On top of that, I was also dying to use the toilet, thus I started furiously knocking on the door. 

I must have interrupted something that Sebastian was doing – probably an important conversation he was having, as I see no other reason why he would have walked away – because I heard the footsteps going further away from the door until finally another door closed shut.  

Not being able to do anything about Sebastian ignoring me, I sat down on the floor and leaned my head against the door. Only when I was on the verge of sleep, did the door open, causing my skull to loudly thud against the ground. 

"What did you want?" The man towering over me inquired.  

After I shamefully admitted my need to go to the bathroom, Sebastian let me through without making any fuss at all. However, he did stand right outside the said room as I was taking care of my business. 

We ate breakfast silently that day. The few words which we said to each other were limited to the weather and other mundane things. Following that, we did not talk, or even look at each other, but for some reason, it just seemed so  _usual._  

Once I and Sebastian were done with the first meal of our day, the red-eyed man disappeared and I was confined to the tiny bedroom. Everything was just like the previous day, and the day before that day, and so on. 

Well, at least I had books. Lots of books. Though they were not my particular style of read, at least it was something to occupy my mind with, during otherwise distraction free time, which I had plenty of every single day. 

After few days though, I did start feeling the need of talking to someone. Not just exchanging few words about such trivial things as the weather, which I did not even get to feel for myself. During one of the dinners, Sebastian and I shared I mentioned to Sebastian one of the books I had read in that tiny room, due to this particular sensation.  

At first, he was reluctant to delve deeper into an otherwise superficial conversation, but at the end, he gave in. I think the glass of red wine he was having along with his dinner helped him with overcoming that hurdle a lot.  

That was the breaking point. After that dinner – due to my great efforts and stubbornness – we began to get closer. If I dare say so myself, due to my extremely submissive behaviour towards him – which followed the said dinner –, I even gained some of the older man's trust. Given, it was not a lot and easily breakable, but it still was a huge achievement for me. 

As the days went by, I started gaining more and more freedom. At first, the crimson eyed man would only let me roam the rooms unsupervised if he went down to a convenience store or a kiosk for a few minutes, to buy such things as cigarettes. Later, however, he would leave the door of the tiny room unlocked even if he went somewhere further away, for as long as few hours.  

Though, of course, he did not leave any communication devices behind. I found this out the very first time I gained this freedom while searching for the old Nokia which I heard ring few days prior. However, during this great search, I did find something a lot better. 

In the other bedroom – the one in which Sebastian stayed – the man kept his drug supply. They were in one of the drawers of the nightstand placed next to the double bed made from dark wood.  

After finding it, I decided not to ever take anything from there. Eventually, though, I could not stop myself from taking small amounts, hoping that Sebastian would never notice that something was missing. 

That, along with the drugs Sebastian was giving me himself, I was no longer sober throughout the day. Though I did like the feeling, there was one downside to it. I could no longer concentrate enough to read a single book from the still huge pile lying on the floor of the room which I was staying in. It was a real bummer, as I grew to like those books and not being able to read them made me feel as if I had lost a small, yet still significant part of me. 

By all means, I should not have expected to get away with that forever. Eventually, Sebastian did notice the missing drugs. And, of course, he became furious. 

Truthfully speaking, I did not even have an idea of how I managed to hide it from him for that long. 

The only thing I remember from that day is the enraged man jumping me, dragging me out of the tiny bedroom – which had already become my own – and shutting the door behind us.  

After that everything got violent. Very violent. And as a result, my memories beyond there get patchy. Though it was not the only reason, as the drugs, which I had consumed that day, helped my amnesia greatly too. 

After this whole ordeal was over, I awoke still in the living room. My body was covered in bruises and I loudly moaned out in pain, but Sebastian – who was smoking next to an open window – did not even spare me as much as a glance. 

"You know, it was your choice." The crimson eyed man stated calmly after few minutes passed, though he was still facing the window. 

I was afraid. I was so mortifyingly afraid of losing his trust, of losing the freedom I had earned and the illusion of safety I had built for myself. But most of all I was terrified of being forced to say goodbye to his  _gifts._  

So I apologized. I could bare few bruises on my body. Especially with most of the wounds, which I received all those weeks ago, about to finish healing. 

"I'll give you just one more chance." Sebastian said as if finally affected by my pleas. "But you will have to prove yourself, I don’t want to be betrayed again." 

And as the man continued to puff out smoke, I agreed. Without even inquiring about the said request I decided to do it. No matter what it was. This fantasy, which I had created for myself, was far more precious than anything else in my miserable life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, surprise surprise, I'm updating early! Very early for that matter. Well, it just so happens that I started getting a lot of interesting ideas for other fanfics recently, and now I want to wrap this one up as soon as I can.   
> However, this does not mean that I will be cutting down on chapters (as my plan always was to end it in 8~9 chapters) or that I will work any less on them, just that I will be posting the new chapters in real time and my update schedule will get really messy. And though I will certainly not manage to finish Weeping Skies this month, towards the end of June it will most likely come to an end.  
> Well, that's that, but is anyone watching Eurovision tonight? If so, do you have any favourite songs? As I always only watch the finals I have no idea what to expect. I feel as last year was a bit disappointing, so I hope this year the songs are better.  
> Positive and negative comments are welcome.


	8. Chapter Seven   "Those Abandoned Places"

_**Chapter Seven** _

_**"Those Abandoned Places"** _

_2016.05.21_

_Today, I had to suffer through another two-hour session at Hannah's. During it, I could not stop thinking about going to Sebastian's apartment. Hence, after the session ended, I hid in the bathroom from Finny – the person who was temporarily replacing Tanaka – and ran away when he went to see if I was still with Hannah._

_As I navigated through the city, I thanked my lucky stars for being able to remember his address. However, I did not anticipate finding that small apartment empty._

_I banged on his door for a good five minutes, before an old lady in the next flat came out to inform me of the owner's absence. According to her, the man who had previously lived there moved out already a while ago. She seemed irritated, as if it was not her first time having to say those sentences, and advised me to call him if I truly want to contact the man._

_No matter how much that woman resisted, I somehow managed to pressure her into promising to give Sebastian my number if she ever saw him again._

_I did not waste time loitering for long after that and left the apartment building extremely disappointed._

"Hide this somewhere." The crimson eyed man handed me a clear plastic bag right before we were about to leave his apartment.

I stared at the bag dumbfounded. It was full of pills and I could not believe that Sebastian was truly giving it to me. Especially after what I the stunt I was pulling.

"Just put it up your ass." The older man said before tossing the bag in my direction. Unfortunately, I was not able to catch it and the bag fell at my feet.

After taking a deep breath, I picked up the bag filled with pills, summoned all the strength I had left in me and took it into a bathroom. It was better not to question his choices and just go with the flow.

It turned out that Sebastian had a car. It was a white sedan, the kind you would not even notice driving due to the simple fact that the streets were filled with them. You could become invisible in it. The only thing which would notice you is traffic cameras, and only if you were speeding.

I could not help myself but wonder if he only got the car, especially for this one drive. Maybe he borrowed it from a friend or maybe stole it from a stranger. I never asked him about it, to be honest, only got into the car and rode shotgun.

We drove by a police station – for I did not know where it was in this neighbourhood – before stopping in a dark alleyway few blocks away.

Suddenly, he kissed me, sucking the air out of my lungs. I stared at his face, completely taken by surprise. His crimson coloured eyes were closed, his dark hair reflecting those few rays of sun which managed not to be swallowed by the darkness in this alleyway.

Sadly, the kiss did not last as long as I wanted it to. When Sebastian was done he simply opened the passenger's door, without saying anything, completely ignoring the confused look I was giving him.

After few moments of complete silence, save for the noise caused by cars driving by on the main street, I got out of the sedan, still not being able to fully comprehend the older man's actions. From there on, I walked back to the police station I saw earlier on foot and Sebastian drove away in the opposite direction.

"How may I help you, buddy?" Asked an officer after I spent a good half an hour loitering in front of the entrance to the said institution.

I looked up at him.

The officer was in his mid-twenties and had friendly facial features. His shaggy auburn hair was gleaming in the sun, his cheery blue eyes were smiling at me – just as his lips. He also had a mustache, however, that did not add a lot of years to his appearance.

A feeling of relief flooded me when he talked to me first. I was far too afraid to even open the police station's door and completely terrified of saying those lines I practiced in front of the mirror this whole morning.

"My name is Ciel Phantomhive and I have been kidnapped. Could you take me home, please? I do not even have a slightest idea about where I am." I finally forced out after taking few deep breaths.

Suddenly, the smile disappeared from both his lips and eyes, his face got serious while he looked me up and down. I felt extremely vulnerable under his inspecting stare, but I clenched my teeth and bore with it.

"Why don't you come with me and we'll talk inside." The man suggested once he shook off the initial shock.

Without any further ado, I followed his lead, sat down where he ordered me to and waited. And the wait was just so incredibly long.

All of it was just one giant blur. Me sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair and answering questions whenever they were directed at me. I also received more than one strange glare from people coming in and out of the police station. Those stares made me feel as if I was a caged animal, locked up somewhere in the zoo for everyone to see. It took almost all of my willpower to pay them no mind, but I managed to put up with it.

While sitting on that uncomfortable waiting chair I ended up finding out that I had already been buried. It seemed that my death was the conclusion my parents and the agents working on my case came to, once I did not return home after the money had been handed over to the kidnappers.

Truthfully speaking, I did not blame them for thinking that way. Without a doubt, it sounded like the only logical explanation, and if I was in their place I would have probably thought so too.

Once my identity had been confirmed, thanks to my fingerprints, I went through a rigorous interrogation which involved a lot of different police officers, whose names I did not even try to memorize. Only after they decided that they had enough of me saying _"I do not remember",_ I was sent to the hospital.

As my wounds were shallow – except, of course, the gaping hole in the middle of my face – I was patched up at the ER and not sent any further. The doctor who changed the dressing of my wounded eye even praised me for doing such a good job. For some strange reason, I felt this innocent pride swell in my chest at his comment.

What was even stranger to me, however, was the fact that even with all that happened, I still managed to return to a place I once called home.

* * *

I stood in the hallway of Funtom company, only a few meters away from the door leading to my father's office. The same office, which once was my grandfather's and my grandfather's father's. The same office which one day will belong to me, once my father hands me down the company.

Or at least that was the initial plan. After this whole mess, it might have changed.

Today, my presence here were not due to my own choice. Finny had informed my father about my actions as soon as I disappeared and now the promise of father's tongue lashing waited for me on the other side of that door.

After finishing mentally preparing myself, I pushed the heavy oak door open and, seeing my father hunched over a pile of documents, came in.

"Sit down, I am going to take only a minute." The older man said in monotone as he continued to analyze the piece of paper in his hands.

Listening to him, I sat down in the client chair, on the opposite side of his desk. As I waited, the only noises to disturb the otherwise uncomfortable silence, were an old clock counting seconds and the sound of paper being shuffled.

"Both I and your mother are extremely worried about you, Ciel." My father began after finally setting down the paperwork. "We know how much you went through, but you do not seem to be getting any better. On the contrary, the more time passes by, the more unstable you become. A few days ago you were more than ready to slit your throat with the shards of those mirrors you broke, and now you run away."

He looked into my eyes as if waiting for me to start explaining myself and even if he did exaggerate about some things, I did not feel like correcting him. As the thing which my mind was occupied with was the locked door to Sebastian's apartment.

"What do you think about staying in a hospital for a while?" My father asked, disappointed to not have made me talk. "Not the kind Angelina works in, the kind Hannah would work in."

This statement caught my attention and I had already opened my mouth to talk when the older man interrupted me.

"I know the kind of stigma associated with staying in that kind of institution, but it would be for your own good. It would not be a long time arrangement, you would stay there only for a week or two."

Of course, I opposed. I did not want to go to a place full of psychos, even if it was only for a few days.

"At least promise me to think about it." My father said after I finished my rant. "It was a hard decision for your mother and I to make, however, we truly believe that it would be for the best."

This time, the look in his eyes told me that I can not refuse or fume, hence I only nodded, not trusting my voice not to waver while I forced out a reply.

"Well then, you should go home and get some rest. You have a lot of thinking to do after all." He said while picking up another document from the huge pile of papers on his desk.

Without another word, I got up and left. Finny was already waiting for me outside, ready to take me home.

Suddenly, my phone rang. I was extremely surprised as no one ever called me. Even Lizzy and Soma – two of the most annoying people to walk on this earth, who just also happened to be deluding themselves about being my best friends – preferred texting me, instead of calling.

"Hello?" I answered, even though the number displayed on the screen was not familiar to me.

 _"A little birdie told me that you were looking for me."_ Sebastian's voice came from the other end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's only one more chapter to go. It's actually hard for me to believe it!  
> And sorry for updating the same chapter so many times.... AO3 just keeps fucking me over...  
> Anyway, negative and positive comments are welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> I actually already have the first chapter written, but I don't know when I will upload it. In worst case scenario I'll upload it on January.  
> The prologue is short, but I really hope that you enjoyed it. Positive and negative comments are welcome.


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